


Stability

by interstellartreasure



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (only a brief mention of sky unfort :')), Other, i have a lot planned for her later though!!!, meanwhile. have these gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22706455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interstellartreasure/pseuds/interstellartreasure
Summary: After nearly dying in a Sith's captivity, Commander Void and their Jedi, Selinn Aineya, struggle to reconcile with the mix of emotions and confessions said in the storm of it all.Void is set in the idea Selinn couldn't mean it; many say impulsive things when they believe they'll die, after all, it's not unheard of.Selinn struggles to own up to his words, speak up, and push their doubt away before it festers.
Relationships: CC-1019 | Void/Selinn Aineya
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	Stability

When one believes their death is inevitable, they tend to admit what was initially intended to stay hidden much longer or, perhaps, not be shared at all. It was commonplace in the war; even a Commander and Jedi weren’t immune to reaching that desperate point. The two's secrets started out small, scattered here and there while they walked along, trying to escape. When they were trapped, the two admitted several risky ones, ones only a choice few had known before.

That night Selinn gave away so much of himself, but none of the strong emotions which plagued him as he spoke then met what _fear_ he felt when he professed something he swore to never linger on in his own mind. Moments before Selinn gave into the toxin, he managed to force out a last confession of: "I love you Void."

The embarrassment looking back on it all was almost enough to make him wish Captain Sky hadn’t been able to revive him. Selinn could hardly meet the commander's eyes the following week.

It didn’t take long for his master to realize something was off. However, he mistook the lack of proper communication as Selinn being frustrated with the clone. Without listening to his stammering tries at explaining himself, Xiriel tasked his padawan with speaking to Void to ‘clear the negative energy’ between them.

So Selinn nervously left Xiriel, following the path he always knew would lead to Void. During break, though Void swore they relaxed, everyone knew that to be false. They were insistent on finding something official to work on, usually reports and the like. Despite their vod’e and the Jedi who tried to sway their mind, tempt them to do anything else so they could properly rest, they always came back to this, set in their duty.

It was unexpected then, to hear no soft hum as Void worked--let alone the usual tapping on their datapad. Instead, as Selinn moved toward the door, he caught Void's low voice conversing with another. Selinn couldn't discern more than a few words before they suddenly stopped.

Mere seconds later, the door unlocked on its own.

"Hey," Sky smiled warmly. Selinn returned it, but was unable to help an anxious glance toward Void. The commander was lying down on their bunk, slow to sit upright. They gave no audible acknowledgement of Sellinn's presence.

"Right. I figure you wanna talk to Void, huh?" Sky followed Sellinn's gaze. She stood, offering her seat for him before he could answer.

"I- Well, while you're right, I don't want to interrupt whatever you two were doing. I’m so sorry if I have."

"It’s alright. We _just_ finished up." The captain waved it aside, reassuringly patting Sellinn's back. "I trust Void will call me when it's over with if they want to; I'll just be with Doodle."

The Jedi nodded, and, with one last grin, Sky slipped out. He redirected his attention to Void, but before he could speak, froze up. Though Void evened their expression, it only took a glance for him to notice the faded watery trails tears left on their cheek.

Void cleared their throat in preparation, but their voice still wavered, "General Aineya."

Selinn sat down across from Void, leaning forward, "Were you crying?"

"With all respect, regardless of the answer, it is not relevant." They replied as firmly as they could manage, only softening enough to ask, "What may I do for you, sir?"

"For a start, please don't use those terms. We've spoken of this before, all of you can use my name. I prefer that anyway." He reminded them kindly.

"If you’re sure, very well… Selinn."

He thanked them, then, with a shaking sigh, "Secondly, I wanted to apologize."

"...What for?"

"When we were down there," The clone's expression fell at that memory, "Void, I thought we were done for, but I should never have left you with… that."

"Many say things they don't mean in their final moments, sir- Selinn. I understand." For a moment, Selinn swore he caught remorse in their voice, but their expression betrayed nothing of the sort.

"No." The quick response made Void flinch. Selinn tried to slow himself, "Well, Void, I… I did mean it. I _have_ meant it. I just didn't mean to tell you so soon."

"But- sir, permission to speak freely?”

“Always.”

“Sir, I'm-" Void tried to appear amused by the sentiment but they choked on the actual words, "I'm flattered, but you must know I’m _nothing_. I'm just a clone, and a rather plain one at that. You have several other options who I'm sure would be especially happy to have you: Fierjin, Dyone, Nimeli--the list simply goes on."

“Void…” Selinn half-heartedly tried to stop them, but the clone bitterly pushed through the rest with a forced smile.

"Don’t you understand, sir? All would be _ecstatic_ to hear your praise. _And_ they could give you what you deserve, whilst I am only a clone among thousands of others, one who certainly won't live on past this _hopeless_ war!" At Selinn’s grimace, they froze up and their false smile fell. They looked aside, speaking quietly, "I apologize for my outburst, sir."

"You're okay." Selinn reassured them, moving to sit beside Void. He tentatively reached for their hands, but they pulled back. They worriedly glanced up, remaining still even as he said: "Listen, Void... I _do_ love you. While it is true that I may have them as ‘options,’ I really only want you."

Void was silent, but it was clear they were doubtful of these claims.

"Regardless of the cloning, _you're_ still Void. You're still an intelligent, kind, trustworthy, wonderful person. You're still the one who _chose_ to comfort me countless times-- _you_ stayed by my side when I was worried sick over Master Kunai. You're still the one who tried to reassure me that night, even when I'm sure you expected death as much as I did."

"It was only decency." They muttered, carelessly excusing his points.

"Yet it meant everything in those moments." Selinn spoke faintly, leaning closer to them, "You do matter to me, I- I wish I could put all of my thoughts into words. Void, listen, I worry when you're gone, though I know you’re _more_ than capable to keep yourself-” The clone’s expression darkened, “-and others alive. I can't bear to see you in agony and know the medics will keep me away. We're in war, but I want to keep you safe."

A solemn look fell across their face. "That is an impossible wish."

"But it doesn't mean I shouldn't _try._ And it's why I was so ashamed when, in one of the few chances I got to step forward, I _failed_ to protect you. If it weren't for Sky and Flicker…" He trailed off.

"Perhaps, however, if… if we are using that logic, sir, I believe I failed you as well."

"I promise you haven't."

"Maybe not, but if that is so, you haven't failed me either.” They shakily sighed, “Sir, had I given in to my suspicions, I could've warned you before they trapped us in that pit. As well as, before that, I had an opportunity to shoot the Sith, yet I didn't."

"Your arm was _broken_ , Void."

"I'm a clone commander." They responded dryly, "It was my failure to shoot which ended in your own injury. It impaired your ability to save us. If fault lands on anyone, it is me."

Selinn could only muster a mutter of "No, it doesn't."

“Then you are not at fault either.” Void met Selinn’s eyes, softly adding, “No more than I, at least.”

Through their tone alone, Selinn was well aware there was no way to sway their mind from this, regardless of how Selinn personally felt. “I see your point.” He gave in, unable to stop himself from mirroring the small, genuine smile on Void’s face.

Once he realized he did, he swiftly moved away, face reddening. "I- um, I'll leave now, if you wish.” He stood, “As I said back then, you don't need to love me back Void. I just wanted you to know it was, and is, genuine. I'm truly sorry if this- well, I only hope we can continue as before."

"Sir-" Void tentatively corrected themself, " _Selinn_ , I apologize as well, for acting so dismissive. You deserve much better than I, and I must remind myself of that--whether it be by referring to your rank or my... _personal_ unworthiness--lest I get carried away."

"’Carried away’?" Selinn echoed questioningly. He sat back down, examining Void as they anxiously picked at their hands, avoiding his gaze.

"I believe I care for you too, in that manner." They paused before admitting, "I have for nearly a year now."

His heart skipped a beat. "Truly?"

"Yes, Selinn." They savored the name this time, and he caught a hint of Void's blush though they still couldn't face him. They pulled their hands up to their face, trying to cover it. Selinn reached to stop one of their hands, carefully bringing it down to hold instead. This time, they let him.

“I do believe you need better taste, though.” They muttered, mustering a half-laugh, “I… _am_ just a clone.”

“Oh, Void,” Selinn urged them to look back at him now, and they reluctantly did, “You can’t keep saying this. You _know_ you’re much more than just that. Must I call Sky to support me on this?”

“Best not.”

They slowly met the Jedi’s eyes. Selinn kindly beamed back, squeezing their hand.

The warm gesture made Void’s smile fade. They grew tired, voice quiet, “I’ve gone so long thinking you, one of our _Generals-_ rather, more than that, a _Jedi_ , couldn’t possibly return these... strong feelings on that mere rank. And I was fine pushing it down, accepting you’d never look at me as I did you. This conversation goes against _everything_ I've believed, yet you still dare to...”

Void's gaze fell. “Selinn, ever since that evening, I’ve felt much more conflicted--you actually walked in on Sky finally confronting me on why I was upset. She requested my explanation on what happened between us.”

“Oh?”

“She wanted me to go to you and be upfront about my emotions, somehow.” They hesitantly glanced up, “I’m sure you could see her enthusiasm when you took initiative and met me first, though.”

“I did.” Selinn nodded, shifting closer to them. Void leaned against his shoulder, much to Selinn’s surprise, but not objection. He pressed his thumb against the back of Void’s hand, unable to help the warm joy filing his heart as they lightly squeezed back this time. Void allowing this was flattery in itself; all knew how uncommon it was for them to keep physical contact.

Void took the time in silence to regain their composure. After a few moments, they softly continued, “You would think now that you’ve told me what you think of me I’d finally calm myself, but I _cannot_ shake this doubt.”

“I’ll always be here to remind you and shove those doubts away, then.” Selinn spoke with the confidence Void had grown to love, however naive his faith tended to end.

“...That is sweet.” Was all Void managed, hesitantly gazing back into his eyes. Selinn silently moved forward, and, with a nod from Void, embraced them. He kept them close to his chest and comforted them.

“I love you.” Selinn whispered in their ear, “And I always will, promise.”

“I hope you understand, while I do enjoy hearing your words, I’m still unable to fully realize it,” Void murmured back, “At least, for now.”

“I do, I know it’s a sudden, drastic change for you.” Selinn caressed the side of their cheek, then moving to run their hand along their hair. “I suppose we both thought we were alone in these feelings, hm?”

“I’m… very relieved I wasn’t left alone in it, even if I do know-” A sigh from Selinn was enough for them to fix their phrasing, “even if I do feel I won’t live up to your hopes.”

“Well, even if we hadn’t confessed, you’d be more than enough for me Void. You’ve always been someone I adored.” Selinn’s words earned several small, quick mumbles in mando’a under their breath.

He laughed as they blushed. They continued to be flustered by the small compliments the man offered every once in a while, unable to counter many of them. They stumbled over their own attempts to express their endearment for Selinn.

The couple slowly faded into a comfortable silence. Void welcomed Selinn’s close embrace; the two were warm and _happy_ , if only for what minutes remained of the hour.

The commander’s comm-beep was a sudden reawakening. Void quickly apologized to Seilnn, instinctively pulling away to answer it. It was Flicker, their medic, who asked if Void had already submitted their report; the count of casualties from their last battle must be updated.

This call was expected on Void’s end. They took the information as calmly as anything else but Selinn went silent. This alone directed him back to reality.

Time wasn’t so kind as to stop, the war would always intervene--death would certainly haunt their next steps--but they now knew they had each other. It was one less instance to worry about passing and regretting later on. There was now certainty the two could hold, regardless of what fate either may meet. Such was the most one could ask in a war like this: stability.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!  
> im @cisphobicfives on tumblr!
> 
> to those who comment: id die for u


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